When will my body image horror story end? Have A Great Prom. Hasn’t Tulisa Changed?

exercise2I hate exercise - I really do.  Maybe you’re the same.  

Despite coming down two dress sizes I still have to lose weight.

When will this horror story end?  It seems as if I’ve got to find something new – do something different to lose weight.  It’s not enough to tinker around with my diet and reduce this and reduce that and cut out the other thing.  There is only one diet I will consider because of the Type 2 Diabetes I have and that’s the low GI diet, so it seems this is what  I must now do.

I don’t suppose any of you brave souls out there want to join me do you?  Well if you do – email me and we’ll start together.  You never know it may even be fun.

What am I saying

What am I saying

Could be fun couldn’t it?  Of course it could.  It’s only a diet.  You can choose your own diet even – do what suits you.  Whatever works right?



A Word To All of You Who Finished School this Month And Have A Great Prom


I hope that’s how you feel at least the modern day equivalent of whoopee.  I finished school lots of years ago.  But I can still remember that heady feeling of happiness – like I’d finished a huge long race that was really hardgoing.  So I wish you happiness and all the best for your future.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  Wow.  

Have you made plans?  

Or just chilling and having a rest?

Maybe a holiday somewhere?

Or thinking of your Prom night?

Whatever you’re doing I hope you have a fabulous time.


I saw some tweets last week about Prom nights and from the sound of things some of you really worry and stress about it.  I don’t blame you.  It’s an important night and you want to look your best.  

Just try not to let stress and worry ruin it for you.  

Remember there’s loads you can do if things go wrong at the last minute.  I know you know, but it bears repeating:

  • Concealers for zits that surface without warning, so keep some handy.
  • If your arms suddenly develop chicken wings and your boobs swell-up without warning buy or borrow a pretty shrug, [out of sight out of mind].  
  • Worried about your make-up? Take a trip to the beauty department in your local store and have them do it, they do it free-of-charge.  If you can’t get it done right before the prom at least they can give you ideas for applying something spectacular.
  • Check out U-Tube for loads of tips on hairdressing techniques for something that bit different for your great night.  Use ‘youtube hairdressing and make up tips’ as a search – just copy and paste it into youtube and see what comes up.
  • After all the stress of getting ready – take a deep breath – relax – and have fun.  And don’t forget to stay safe.  I’m a Mum and can’t stop myself from adding that piece at the end!


Look At Tulisa Now


I saw this photo of Tulisa this week through a court appearance and couldn’t help notice how different she looks.  Isn’t it great how the stars are so good at redefining themselves?  I think we ought to take a leaf out of their book and apply it to our life, instead of trying to copy them.  What do you think??

Tulisa looks different

Tulisa looks different

But she looks good doesn’t she – she’s been through a tough time lately so let’s hope her life gets back on track in a good way now.  

I must say the idea of copying the stars bothers me a bit.  The idea of it’s okay and in our day we did the same.  Except perhaps we expressed it differently;  

splashing posters on our bedroom walls and decorating school books with pictures of all our favourite stars.  Movie stars, singing stars. They all got pride of place. 

I’ll never forget my best friend, Linda she loved Billy Fury so much.  

We’d have friendly arguments, because my favourite was Cliff Richard, but she loved Billy and that was that, she wouldn’t be moved.

Linda got leukemia when she was about 10 or 11, I can’t remember exactly to be honest.  Her Mum told me in private that she was dying but I wasn’t to tell her.  

She only told me because we’d had a stupid argument like kids do and weren’t speaking, her Mum told me so I could make it up and not waste time by not speaking.  

And I was so glad she did because we had a lovely time together before she died.  She was in hospital at the end and someone with contacts arranged for Billy Fury to come and see her.  She was so ecstatic about it, when she died he sent a wreath to her grave.  Someone stole it.  Typical isn’t it of some?  But Linda was so happy to have met him – it made her life complete.

But this is a different era and things are done differently today.  When Wayne Rooney got married in Italy – his wedding went on for four days.  But then members of the public, who love to do different things on their wedding day got started on the same idea. Having weddings which lasted four days. 

It’s similar to when their style of dress is copied, not Wayne Rooney’s, but other celebs, we copy their clothes, their hairstyles, their handbags, their shoes.  Kate, the wife of Prince William wears something and hours later it’s in the shops to buy!  We copy everything about their lifestyles.  And sometimes we might not have their bank accounts to use, which leaves us short!

It’s okay I’m not judging anybody here. Everybody is free to chose whatever they want.

My concern is the debt that’s incurred by copying.  

The stars have the money to cover their lifestyle but we, ordinary members of the public don’t.  

Make your plans have a great time – just watch the debt or try to find cheaper alternatives where you can. 

I’ve heard of couples spending £20,000 on a wedding day and then get divorced several months later.  Tragic hey?  

Take care and chat again soon.






Self-esteem isn’t something you take seriously – it’s not something you put at the top of your agenda.  Or spend money on books to read about.  

But it’s there deep in your consciousness. 

You sometimes acknowledge it and sometimes when it raises it’s head you bury it again deeper so it doesn’t frighten you.  It’s there, yes of course it’s there.  

And it has an impact on your life every single day whether you acknowledge it or not.  

Have you ever noticed that some people have a pattern to their lives that’s repeated over and over again.  Like the woman, for example, who gets mixed-up time and time again with men who abuse her.  She has no idea why this keeps happening, she keeps asking everyone,

‘Why me? Why does this keep happening to me?’.

The answer to that lies in self-esteem.

Or what about the man who bemoans again and again he doesn’t ever get the promotion he deserves.  When he does get it he’s constantly late to work, he makes mistakes he knows he shouldn’t have made.  He knows better!  But still he continues, until he gets reprimanded and demoted.  Then he says:

‘I knew that would happen, it always happens to me, what have I done to deserve this treatment?’

Do these stories sound familiar to you?

I’m sure you’ve heard them before.  

In my years as a counsellor I certainly heard many stories like that.

What’s interesting about these stories is what they have in common and that of course is self-esteem.  

What is Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem isn’t about the way you see yourself.  

It’s not as simple as changing your thoughts will change your low self-esteem.  

That skims the surface.  

It’s not a case of repeating affirmations and this will transform your self-esteem from low to high.  There’s nothing wrong in affirmations and they’re an effective way of reinforcing new thoughts.

But if you want to change your self-esteem you need to go deeper. 

Basically that means:

To trust your mind and to know that you are worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem’. – Nathaniel Branden – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem


Just to briefly review what we’ve covered.  You can see for yourself from the above quote that the basic meaning of self-esteem as expressed by Nathaniel Branden is totally different to what you’ve heard before.  But it makes sense when you think about it doesn’t it.  Self-esteem is inherent in us – not an add-on.  Not something bolted on after everything else is formed.  Self-esteem is part of our nature and like other parts of our personality it can be normal or not so much and different degrees in between.

I think if I aksed that question most people would admit to not thinking that they’re worthy of success and happiness like a right to expect.

  Take Care of Your Body

 Body image is similar in its roots to self-esteem as it invariably results in some form of treating the body badly, punishing your body for what your self-esteem is or isn’t.  I heard Tom Hanks recently, after he’d found out he had Type 2 diabetes, say to his fans, ‘You gotta take care of the temple, you gotta take care of it’.  And this is so true.  My quote is similar urging you to take care of your body as you would your home.  Because your body is your home.  


 For me the thing I loathe is exercise.  It’s not me.  The idea of sweating together with a whole lot of other sweating bodies doesn’t ‘float my boat’.  But we’re all different and for some it’s their special time doing what they love which is great.  But when it comes to body issues it’s pretty much filled with things we don’t like doing and don’t like hearing.  

  • Cut down
  • Reduce
  • Lower
  • Cut it out
  • Diet Plan
  • Exercise Regime

None of the above are pleasant especially the word ‘regime’ in any context it sends my brain a picture of pain, as bad as visiting the dentist.  Body issues and the way we feel and think and treat our bodies is as complex as we are as human beings.  But definitely linked to self-esteem.  In fact if we don’t tackle our self-esteem issues, we tend to hide away from them and our bodies pay the price for us doing that.  Because we tend to hide in eating, or drinking, or busyness, or laziness.  And the cycle continues.

That pretty much is this post. As we continue to search through self-esteem and body image issues you’ll learn more about it as a subject.  But you’ll also learn how to apply what you learn to your own specific situation.

Until next time, take care and chat soon,





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